Phoenix Rising With Dr Z: Conversations About Grief and Loss

0062: Chronic Illness in Limbo: Autoimmune Disease, Lymphoma, and Finding Control (Part 1)

Chronic Illness in Limbo: Autoimmune Disease, Lymphoma, and Finding Control
 
Dr. Christina Zampitella hosts Phoenix Rising with Dr. Z, a podcast focused on healing through grief and trauma, and introduces an episode on chronic and life-threatening illness featuring guest Annika. Annika shares a broad overview of her medical history, starting with Graves disease diagnosed at 17 after her dentist urged a thyroid check, followed by surgery that helped for 15 years and later radioiodine treatment in graduate school, leaving her without a thyroid and managed on Synthroid. About 20 years later, she developed multiple autoimmune diagnoses, which she lists as Graves disease, Raynaud’s, MGUS (a precursor condition that can precede multiple myeloma), and Sjögren’s disease (described as an attack on moisture-producing organs causing severe dry eyes, no saliva, chronic dehydration, loss of taste and smell, and significant dental problems). She also describes an incidental lung nodule discovered during a COVID-era ER visit for severe gastrointestinal illness and fainting; after seeking second opinions and care at Sloan Kettering, a needle biopsy confirmed low-grade B-cell lymphoma currently managed with watch-and-wait, though a later growth of the nodule shifted concern. Annika discusses the practical and emotional burdens of chronic illness—fatigue, exercise intolerance, unpredictable symptoms, and repeated insurance barriers (including $12,000 scleral lenses for dry eyes). She emphasizes the necessity of self-advocacy, tracking medical information, building a responsive care team, and traveling to specialty centers like Johns Hopkins and Sloan Kettering, while acknowledging the privilege required to do so. Annika describes participating in longitudinal research studies (including NIH and a CP3 cancer study) as empowering and meaningful, tying this to benefit-finding and meaning-making. Dr. Z and Annika explore how chronic illness and traumatic grief both involve loss of control, and how control and advocacy can support later meaning-making. Annika connects her illness experience to prior traumatic loss—the overdose death of her son—and describes waking daily to an unchanging reality of loss, while illness adds uncertainty and limbo. They discuss anger, “why me,” feelings of betrayal by the body, invisible illness, and relationship strain, alongside resilience and coping through pragmatic adaptation, boundaries, and oscillating between emotion and daily responsibilities. The conversation closes on adapting to limitations to preserve quality of life, with examples like modifying exercise and food choices to prevent symptom flares and choking.
 
00:00 Welcome to Phoenix Rising: Healing Through Grief & Trauma
00:30 Today’s Topic: Chronic & Life-Threatening Illness + Meet Annika
02:02 Annika’s First Diagnosis: Graves Disease at 17 (and the Early Warning Signs)
03:23 Autoimmune Conditions ‘Travel in Clumps’: Listing the Diagnoses
05:40 Daily Impact: Fatigue, Exercise Intolerance, Dry Eyes/Teeth & the Cost of Care
06:24 Becoming Your Own Advocate: Specialists, Travel, and Building a Care Team
07:40 Giving Back Through Research: Clinical Trials, Longitudinal Studies & Meaning-Making
09:52 Control vs. Chaos: Coping with Chronic Illness and the Loss of Control
10:54 Timeline Deep-Dive: Thyroid Surgery, Grad School Stress, and the Long Gap to the Next Diagnosis
14:58 Menopause, Overlapping Symptoms & When ‘Manageable’ Becomes Life-Altering
19:54 COVID-Era ER Visit to Lung Nodules: Second Opinions and a Lymphoma Diagnosis
23:05 Watch-and-Wait to Treatment: Rituximab and the Immune System Trade-Off
24:37 Rituximab’s Uncertainty: Help, Harm, and Infection Risk
25:02 “Why Me?” Anger, Trauma, and Finding Resilience Anyway
27:52 Invisible Illness & Being Misread: Looking “Fine” While Struggling
30:37 Body Betrayal & Life Restrictions: Travel Triggers, Chemo Days, and Self-Compassion
35:20 The Hidden Losses: Losing Taste & Smell—and the Joy of Brief Breakthroughs
39:43 Adapting to Limits: Boundaries, Pragmatism, and Building Quality of Life
43:40 When People Don’t Adapt: Fear Spirals, Closed Worlds, and Choosing Quality of Life

0061: Rising from Chronic Illness (Part 2)

Rising from Chronic Illness
In this episode of Phoenix Rising with Dr. Z, Dr. Christina Zampitella hosts an in-depth conversation with Samantha about overcoming the challenges of living with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and other chronic illnesses. The discussion covers their personal experiences, the emotional and physical impacts, as well as navigating the healthcare system and finding the right treatment. Samantha also shares her journey through different phases of her illness, the emotional struggles, and how it has reshaped her life and outlook. This episode provides valuable insights and resources for anyone dealing with chronic illness and highlights the importance of empathy and support.
 
00:00 Introduction to Phoenix Rising
00:28 Personal Experiences with Medical Diagnosis
02:02 Navigating Treatment Options
02:57 Challenges with Insurance and Healthcare
04:41 Understanding MS and Its Impact
09:30 Coping Mechanisms and Support Systems
15:28 Medication and Lifestyle Adjustments
18:20 Experiencing Intrusive Thoughts and Panic
19:55 Misdiagnosis and Discovery of Migraines
23:37 The Emotional Impact of Chronic Illness
31:00 Grieving and Acceptance
33:48 Living with Intention and Seeking Help
35:07 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

0061: Rising from Chronic Illness (Part 1)

Rising from Chronic Illness: Dr. Samantha Sanderson Brown's MS Journey
In this episode of Phoenix Rising with Dr. Z, host Dr. Christina Za Patella engages in a heartfelt conversation with Dr. Samantha Sanderson Brown. Dr. Samantha shares her personal journey and experiences of being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) in 2017. They discuss the early symptoms, the challenges in getting a diagnosis, and how her life has been altered since. Samantha talks about her athletic background, the impact of chronic illness on her daily life, and her professional focus on helping athletes transition from sport using grief theory. This episode offers a deep insight into the silent struggles of chronic illness and the journey towards healing and acceptance.
00:00 Introduction to Phoenix Rising with Dr. Z00:47 Meet Dr. Samantha Sanderson Brown01:56 Samantha's Background and Journey02:47 Living with a Chronic Illness05:32 Early Symptoms and Initial Diagnosis14:35 Navigating Life with MS20:52 Internship at Mount Sinai22:02 First Symptoms Appear23:39 Seeking Medical Help26:19 Misdiagnosis and Frustration29:53 Comprehensive Testing34:42 Diagnosis Confirmed

0060: Losing A Grandparent (Part 2)

Losing A Grandparent (Part 2)
Navigating Grief and Family Bonds: A Conversation on Loss and Healing
In this episode of Phoenix Rising with Dr. Z, host Dr. Christina Za Patella sits down to discuss the intricacies of grieving the loss of grandparents and the restorative love within family dynamics. The conversation covers personal stories of grief, the importance of maintaining family bonds, and how to navigate the complexities of mourning in healthy ways. Dr. Z emphasizes the need to give oneself space and grace to grieve while maintaining connections through shared stories and traditions. This heartfelt discussion offers a holistic view on coping with loss and the impact of generational ties.
 
00:00 Introduction to Phoenix Rising
00:28 Family Dynamics and Caregiving
01:26 Impact of Loss on Family
02:15 Grandparents and Their Legacy
02:52 Coping with Grief and Memories
11:42 Selling the Family Home
14:57 Reflecting on Grandparent Relationships
24:38 Reflecting on Mortality and Loss
25:40 Grandma's Final Moments
27:57 The Role of Food in Family Traditions
33:49 Nurturing Family Relationships
37:36 Dealing with Ambivalent Relationships
41:28 The Importance of Grieving
43:54 Concluding Thoughts and Farewell

0060: Losing A Grandparent (Part 1)

In this two-part episode, Dr. Christina Zampitella sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist Marcus Scarfo for an open and heartfelt conversation about what it’s like to grieve the loss of a grandparent — particularly when that grandparent played a central, stabilizing role in the family.Marcus shares the story of his grandfather’s death and how it quietly unraveled parts of his identity, relationships, and sense of emotional safety. Together, they explore how grief shows up in adult grandchildren, how family systems shift after a loss, and why the death of a grandparent is often underestimated or overlooked.This episode invites reflection on the layers of grief, the importance of rituals, and the subtle ways we search for emotional grounding when we lose someone who once provided it.
Chapters00:00 – Welcome and episode overview 01:02 – Introducing guest: Marcus Scarfo, LMFT 02:25 – What made Marcus’s grandfather so special 04:20 – How grief hit differently as an adult 06:10 – Recognizing secondary losses after death 08:40 – Family roles and dynamics shifting 10:50 – The emotional undercurrent of stability and safety 13:30 – Disenfranchised grief around grandparents 15:00 – The complexity of letting go of family traditions 17:25 – Navigating grief as a therapist 19:00 – How Marcus’s grief impacted his work and relationships 21:12 – Closing reflections and what’s coming in Part 2
💬 Have you ever felt the ripple effects of losing a grandparent? Share your experience in the comments or tag someone who might relate.🔔 Subscribe to catch Part 2 next week, where Dr. Z and Marcus go deeper into the healing process, internalized messages around masculinity and grief, and how to keep someone’s legacy alive.#PhoenixRisingPodcast #GriefSupport #GrandparentLoss #FamilyGrief #TherapistPerspective #GriefHealing #MentalHealthAwareness #GriefPodcast #DrZampitella #MarcusScarfo #NewEpisode

0059: The Anniversary of My Cancer Diagnosis

The Anniversary of My Cancer Diagnosis
In this deeply personal solo episode, Dr. Christina Zampitella opens up about the emotional weight of the two-year anniversary of her leukemia diagnosis. From lingering fears and disrupted sleep to a powerful reminder that grief and trauma don’t follow a linear timeline, Dr. Z shares how even after healing begins, the body and mind continue to carry echoes of the past.
Whether you're a survivor, a caregiver, or someone supporting a loved one through illness, this short but powerful reflection reminds us of the importance of compassion — especially toward ourselves.
 
CHAPTERS
00:00 – Introduction 00:49 – Remembering the gap in podcast episodes 01:10 – Cancer diagnosis, multiple losses, and memory triggers 02:00 – Signs of emotional and physical distress around the anniversary 03:00 – Lingering fear of symptoms returning 04:00 – Practicing self-compassion and facing mortality 04:52 – Reflection on hair loss, visual comparisons, and milestones 05:45 – Sharing as a way to heal 06:20 – Final thoughts: Navigating anniversaries with honesty and hope
 
💬 Let’s Talk
Has an anniversary ever hit you harder than expected? Do you feel your body remembering even before your mind catches up?
Drop your thoughts or questions in the comments — we’d would love to hear from you.
#PhoenixRising #CancerAnniversary #GriefSupport #TraumaHealing #Survivorship #MentalHealthAwareness #DrZ #PodcastForHealing #SelfCompassion

0058: Unanticipated Loss with Jennifer Levin, FT (Part 2)

Unanticipated Loss with Jennifer Levin, FT – Part 2
Grieving the unimaginable takes more than time — it takes validation, stabilization, and the space to be fully human. In Part 2 of this deeply moving conversation, Dr. Christina Zampitella continues her discussion with grief and trauma expert Dr. Jennifer Levin, diving into what it really means to navigate unanticipated loss.
This episode offers a rare and honest look at:
The internal and external experiences of traumatic grief
How the body carries the weight of sudden loss
What it means to "resource" someone before they’re ready to process
How grief shows up in real life — not just theory
The dangers of toxic positivity and forced timelines for healing
How to find the right kind of therapeutic support for traumatic grief
Whether you're grieving or supporting someone who is, this episode is filled with insight, warmth, and clarity.
 
⏱️ CHAPTERS:
00:00 – Welcome back & setting the stage 01:10 – Why trauma work doesn’t begin right away 04:50 – Stabilization and building a therapeutic alliance 06:00 – Moving the trauma out of the center of the grief 08:30 – Resourcing clients: what it means and why it matters 12:00 – When your way of grieving makes others uncomfortable 14:45 – The power of group support and shared grief 17:20 – How unanticipated loss can reshape who we are 21:10 – The body keeps the score — even in grief 23:30 – Why avoidance can feel protective (but isn’t sustainable) 25:30 – Oscillation in grief: approach and withdraw 27:00 – Advice for people navigating unanticipated loss 28:30 – The pain of losing a child and the depth of guilt 30:00 – What not to say to someone grieving 32:00 – Finding the right therapist for traumatic grief 35:00 – The need for trauma-informed grief care 36:00 – Dr. Levin’s resources and closing reflections

058: Unanticipated Loss with Dr. Jennifer Levin (Part 1)

Unanticipated Loss with Dr. Jennifer Levin (Part 1):
Unanticipated loss can shake the very core of who we are — leaving us not only grieving but questioning, searching, and trying to make sense of the senseless. In this special two-part episode, Dr. Christina Zampitella sits down with Dr. Jennifer Levin, a nationally recognized expert in traumatic grief, to explore what makes these sudden losses so different — and why the healing process often looks unlike anything else.
Together, they explore:
The distinction between traumatic and non-traumatic grief
How rumination and the need for a cohesive narrative impact healing
The emotional fallout of ambiguous or unexpected loss
Why grief isn't something to "fix" but rather something to companion
Whether you’ve experienced a sudden loss or support others who have, this episode offers insight, compassion, and powerful validation for anyone navigating the unthinkable.
Part 2 drops next week, so stay tuned!
⏱️ Chapters:
00:00 – Welcome + Intro to Dr. Jennifer Levin 02:00 – How Jennifer got into traumatic grief work 08:30 – The difference between anticipated and unanticipated loss 13:45 – Why sudden loss is uniquely disorienting 18:15 – “Unexpected but not surprising” vs. “sudden and shocking” deaths 23:20 – The emotional and psychological aftermath of traumatic loss 25:00 – Rumination, narrative gaps, and meaning-making 29:30 – The addiction model of grief: Is rumination a form of coping? 32:00 – The long arc of healing and why it takes time

057: Chronic Illness and Grief with Angela Dean (Part 2)

In Part 2 of this powerful conversation, Dr. Christina Zampitella and Angela Dean continue exploring the complex emotional landscape of chronic illness. From rebuilding identity after diagnosis to understanding the nuances of grief in long-term illness, this episode dives deep into what it means to live fully — even when your body won’t cooperate.
Whether you're navigating illness yourself or supporting a loved one, this episode offers insight, compassion, and validation for the many ways grief shows up when chronic illness changes everything.
 
Chapters
0:00 – Intro: Picking up where we left off1:45 – How relationships shift after illness6:10 – Parenting while managing chronic illness9:40 – The grief of changed routines and abilities12:30 – Fear of being a burden15:18 – “Who am I now?” – identity grief and self-worth19:55 – The trauma of medical care and being dismissed24:12 – Reclaiming agency and reframing the narrative
28:30 – Creating space for both joy and grief32:00 – Final thoughts and what helps in the hard moments

057: Chronic Illness and Grief with Angela Dean (Part 1)

Description:In this two-part series, Dr. Z sits down with psychologist Dr. Angela Dean for a powerful, candid conversation about chronic illness and its impact on mental health, relationships, identity, and grief. Drawing from their personal and professional experiences, they unpack the uncertainty, systemic barriers, and invisible losses that come with chronic conditions — as well as the deeply emotional work of advocating for yourself (or someone you love) in a complex and often disconnected medical system.
Whether you’re living with a chronic illness, supporting someone who is, or working in the healthcare or mental health space, this conversation offers a validating look into the human side of chronic care.
Stay tuned for part 2 dropping 11/25.
Chapters 0:00 – Welcome & Intro to the Episode 1:25 – Meet Dr. Angela Dean 4:10 – From Set Design to Psychology 7:00 – Why Chronic Illness & Grief Matter 10:00 – Defining Chronic vs. Terminal Illness 12:45 – The Weight of Medical Uncertainty 17:20 – The Grief of Not Knowing 20:45 – Advocacy, Coordination, & the Healthcare Maze 24:30 – The Emotional Toll of Managing Chronic Illness 27:15 – Identity and Illness: “I have” vs. “I am” 33:00 – Shifting Language & Reclaiming Identity 35:30 – Medication Compliance & Psychological Resistance 41:00 – The Cost of Care: Financial Strain & Systemic Barriers 44:15 – Secondary Losses (Relationships, Intimacy, Self-Worth) 51:30 – Wrap Up & What’s Coming in Part 2
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