Phoenix Rising With Dr Z: Conversations About Grief and Loss

Born Into Loss: Grieving Deceased Siblings, Replacement Dynamics, and Healing After Family Silence
 
Dr. Christina Zampitella hosts Phoenix Rising with Dr. Z in a conversation about healing grief and trauma, focusing on “born after loss” experiences, disenfranchised grief for a sibling never met, and shifting “replacement dynamics” within families. They explore why families may hide an adopted-out or deceased child—shame, stigma, pain, and cultural messages about “moving on”—and the anguish of unanswered questions when parents have died. Practical meaning-reconstruction tools include letter-writing dialogues, rituals, therapy, and expressive arts; the guest shares creating a memorial memory box using saved dress pieces, pink wax, shells, and a vintage sign, highlighting process and product in art therapy. They discuss approaching parents with empathy while still owning one’s needs and anger, impacts on parenting and adult relationships, potential for post-loss growth, and concerns about the term “rainbow baby.” They close by recommending the book Born Into Loss: Shadows of Deceased Siblings and Family Journeys of Grief.
 
00:00 Welcome to Phoenix Rising
00:25 Born After Loss Grief
01:33 Why Families Hide Loss
04:15 When Answers Are Gone
06:00 Letters and Rituals
07:40 Memory Box Art Therapy
14:52 Process Over Product
16:22 Starting the Conversation
19:24 Anger and Repair
21:42 Relationships and Parenting
24:44 Post Loss Growth
29:31 Rainbow Baby Language
33:27 Book and Closing Thoughts

Born Into Loss: Healing After a Deceased Sibling with Dr. Z & Sarah Vollman
 
Dr. Christina Zampitella speaks with grief and loss clinician, researcher, and art therapist Sarah Vollman about being “born into loss,” when a child is born after a sibling has died. Vollman shares her family story of her sister Julie’s sudden drowning death at age six and discusses how traumatic loss reshapes family roles, attachment, and parenting capacity, sometimes creating “forgotten children.” They explore the need for long-term, practical support for bereaved families and how social networks often withdraw due to discomfort. Vollman explains how born-after siblings may face dismissal from others, pressure to help grieving parents, or expectations as a “replacement child,” including patterns she terms inadequate replacement” and “gift child,” and how these dynamics can affect surviving siblings, identity, and career paths in helping professions.
 
00:00 Welcome to Phoenix Rising
01:39 Meet Sarah Vollman
04:03 Julie’s Death and Aftermath
11:02 Parenting Through Devastation
13:37 Support Systems and Grief Literacy
17:42 What Born Into Loss Means
19:47 Replacement Child Pressures
24:19 Inadequate vs Gift Child Roles
29:09 Dr Z’s Personal Born Into Loss Story
35:40 Secrets, Silence, and Integration
39:02 How Dynamics Shift Over Time

Father's Day After Loss: Navigating Grief, Love & Complicated Relationships
 
Father's Day can be one of the most complicated days of the year for grieving people.
In this special Father's Day episode, Dr. Christina Zampitella shares both personal and professional reflections on what it means to navigate grief when reminders of loss are everywhere. Drawing from her own experience of losing her father, she explores the unique challenges that holidays and milestone dates can bring, including increased emotional reactivity, changes in sleep, difficulty concentrating, and the return of grief pangs that may catch us by surprise.
This episode also acknowledges a reality that many people experience but rarely talk about: not every relationship with a father was simple. Some relationships were loving but complicated. Some were marked by absence, conflict, or unmet needs. Others leave us grieving not only the father we had, but the father we wish we had.
Dr. Z discusses ways to honor your relationship, set boundaries around expectations, respond to unhelpful comments from others, and offer yourself compassion as you move through Father's Day in whatever way feels right for you.
Whether you are grieving a father, a father figure, or a complicated relationship, this episode is a reminder that there is no "right" way to experience this day.
Topics Discussed:• Why holidays and anniversaries intensify grief• Grieving a father with a complicated relationship• The father you lost vs. the father you wished you had• How different types of death can affect grief• Responding to unhelpful comments and grief myths• Setting boundaries during difficult holidays• Honoring the bond with a loved one who has died• Giving yourself permission to grieve in your own way
If this episode resonates with you, we'd love to hear from you in the comments.
 
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction & Why Father's Day Can Be Difficult 00:42 Why Grief Often Intensifies Around Special Dates 01:41 When Your Relationship With Dad Was Complicated 02:44 Grieving the Father You Wish You Had 03:23 Balancing Your Grief With Father's Day Expectations 04:11 How Dr. Z Plans to Honor Her Father 05:15 Finding Grace for Imperfect Parents 06:08 When You Had a Close Relationship With Your Dad 06:44 How a Father's Death Changes Family Roles 07:31 Why the Circumstances of Death Matter in Grief 08:11 Normalizing Difficult Memories and Grief Triggers 08:40 Responding to Unhelpful Comments About Grief 09:48 Repairing Relationships After Grief Misunderstandings 10:18 Common Emotional and Physical Grief Responses 11:03 Honoring Your Father or Father Figure 11:25 Setting Boundaries and Giving Yourself Grace 11:55 Closing Thoughts

Christina Zampitella hosts Gyani Richards, a grief counselor who shares how losing his father to cancer at age 13 shaped his lifelong path into meditation, mindfulness, and grief work. They discuss grief’s intensity and the fight/flight/freeze response, why self-compassion often disappears after loss, and how societal pressure and disenfranchised grief can amplify the inner critic. Gyani explains mindfulness as relaxation, alertness, and non-judgment—practiced formally or in daily moments—and how it helps distinguish a deeper, kinder inner voice from self-judgment. They explore pacing and dosing grief, the value of supportive witnessing, groups, and ritual, and somatic cues like softening the belly or warming in the chest. Christina shares her experience with yoga nidra for reducing reactivity and improving self-kindness, and Gianni closes with Rumi’s “The wound is where the light enters,” emphasizing grief as a sacred opportunity to be embraced.
 
GYANI’S WEBSITE: https://ourgriefpath.com/

Mindfulness & Grief: Self-Compassion, the Inner Critic, and Learning to Breathe Underwater 
 
Christina Zampitella hosts Gyani Richards, a grief counselor who shares how losing his father to cancer at age 13 shaped his lifelong path into meditation, mindfulness, and grief work. They discuss grief’s intensity and the fight/flight/freeze response, why self-compassion often disappears after loss, and how societal pressure and disenfranchised grief can amplify the inner critic. Gyani explains mindfulness as relaxation, alertness, and non-judgment—practiced formally or in daily moments—and how it helps distinguish a deeper, kinder inner voice from self-judgment. They explore pacing and dosing grief, the value of supportive witnessing, groups, and ritual, and somatic cues like softening the belly or warming in the chest. Christina shares her experience with yoga nidra for reducing reactivity and improving self-kindness, and Gianni closes with Rumi’s “The wound is where the light enters,” emphasizing grief as a sacred opportunity to be embraced.
 
GYANI’S WEBSITE: https://ourgriefpath.com/
 
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR PART 2!
 
00:00 Welcome and Introduction
02:08 Gyani’s Personal Story
03:54 Finding Meditation and Healing
06:12 Understanding Life Backwards
07:50 Marinating Grief and Mindfulness
11:52 Losing Self Compassion
14:37 Conservation Withdrawal and Judgment
18:37 Mindfulness Principles Explained
20:38 Distinguishing Inner Voices
22:55 Turning Towards Grief
24:49 Holding Space and Presence
26:44 Pacing and Dosing
27:25 The Body Speaks
29:15 Comprehensive Grief Work
30:01 Head to Heart Journey
32:18 Counseling and Self Talk
34:09 Meaning Making Process
35:42 Working with Inner Critic
38:33 Dropping Into Vulnerability

The Body’s Language of Grief: Felt Emotion and Mind-Body Healing with Dr. Jenn Rapkin (Part 1)
 
Dr. Christina Zampitella hosts Phoenix Rising and speaks with Dr. Jenn Rapkin about building tolerance for everyday and intense emotions through somatic awareness rather than distraction. They discuss how constant access to phones, media, food, and other numbing habits reduces our ability to sit with both good and hard feelings, which complicates grief and trauma. Rapkin offers two steps to practice: locate an emotion in the body (location, shape, density, intensity, color) and then invite it in for a few minutes with compassion, noticing whether it shifts or dissipates. They contrast her “listening touch” approach with Reiki, address medicine’s fear and devaluing of emotions, and share ways to find somatic therapists and modalities. Rapkin mentions her book, The Feeling Muscle, her website drjennrapkin.com, and key takeaways about capability, body wisdom, and accompanying feelings without fixing them.
00:00 Podcast Welcome00:30 Distraction And Numbing04:48 Building Feeling Tolerance05:26 Find And Invite Feelings07:57 Knowing When To Stop12:48 Therapist Presence And Touch14:17 Reiki Versus Listening Touch16:07 Why Medicine Avoids Emotion21:24 Language Around Emotions24:20 Finding Somatic Support28:57 Owning A Unique Practice31:03 Midlife Power And Boundaries33:11 Where To Find Dr Rapkin34:04 Book And Key Takeaways
 
 

In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, Dr. Christina Zampitella sits down with naturopathic physician and body worker Dr. Jenn Rapkin to explore the body’s role in grief, trauma, and emotional healing.
Together, they unpack the concept of “felt emotion” — the physical experience of emotions like grief, anxiety, anger, and overwhelm — and why so many people become disconnected from what their bodies are trying to communicate.
Dr. Rapkin shares her personal journey from emotional numbing to deeper mind-body awareness, shaped by experiences with dance, OCD, chronic illness, and healing work. The conversation also explores how emotions can manifest physically, why grief often lives in the body, and how building tolerance for everyday feelings can strengthen resilience during more overwhelming experiences.
This episode offers a thoughtful look at nervous system regulation, body awareness, emotional processing, and the importance of learning how to stay present with ourselves in difficult moments.
Topics Discussed:
• What “felt emotion” means
• Why we disconnect from bodily sensations
• Grief, anxiety, and trauma in the body
• Mind-body healing and nervous system responses
• The connection between emotional and physical experience
• Building emotional resilience through body awareness
• Safety, pacing, and staying present with difficult feelings
• Dr. Rapkin’s integrative approach to healing and bodywork
Purchase a copy of her book, The Feeling Muscle: https://drjennrapkin.com/
Stay tuned for part 2 dropping next week.

Linking Objects in Grief: What to Keep, What to Let Go & How Memories Live On | Phoenix Rising with Dr. Z
 
Dr. Christina Zampitella hosts a conversation on “linking objects” and how personal items can comfort or overwhelm after loss. The guest shares that individual objects usually evoke positive memories, but the sheer volume of an estate can create resentment, burden, and anger—especially when handling a parent’s possessions alone and under time pressure. Dr. Z describes clearing her parents’ home after two deaths close together, the pain of choosing what to keep, and the distress of an insensitive estate-sale experience. They discuss how attachment to items can change over time, how to differentiate what mattered to the deceased versus what matters to the survivor, and how donating can be meaningful when intentional. They note linking objects should feel grounding and comforting, and that people, shared stories, and personal “imprints” can also serve as powerful links.
 
00:00 Welcome to Phoenix Rising
00:30 Do Objects Trigger Pain
01:36 Overwhelmed by the Estate
03:30 Dr Z Estate Sale Story
09:13 Keeping Rooms Intact
12:32 Which Items Truly Link
13:40 Mom’s Books and Connection
14:51 Jack’s Shoes and Timing
17:33 Dad’s Furniture Expectations
20:49 Defining Linking Objects
24:33 Beyond Things People Imprints
25:43 Closing Thanks and Callouts

Linking Objects in Grief: Finding Comfort and Continued Bonds with Mimi Rayl | Phoenix Rising with Dr. Z
 
Dr. Christina Zampitella hosts Mimi Rayl on Phoenix Rising with Dr. Z to explain “linking objects,” physical items that help maintain a healthy continued bond with someone who has died while allowing a person to move forward rather than “move on.” Mimi shares losses including her partner Jack (died in 2020 during COVID), her father (complications of dementia), her mother (2002), and other close losses, and describes how specific items anchor and comfort her: a painted portrait of Jack near a shared chair, a stuffed bear gifted by Jack that provides tactile comfort, and jewelry tied to shared experiences. She also shows Inuit bear sculptures connected to her father and a crystal cat linked to her mother, noting these artifacts reconnect her to positive memories and reduce loneliness and feeling unmoored.
 
00:00 Welcome to Phoenix Rising
01:17 Meet Mimi Rayl
02:47 What Are Linking Objects
05:17 Jack and the Home
06:13 Portrait That Keeps Him Close
08:29 Bear the Comfort Anchor
12:06 Jewelry as Connection
15:57 How Linking Objects Help Grief
18:12 Moving Forward Not Moving On
25:53 Dad Bear and Inuit Carvings
28:41 Mom Sadie and Reconnection
30:31 Artifacts and Mixed Emotions

Supporting Student Athletes After Suicide Loss with Chris Warren (Part 2)
 
In this episode of Phoenix Rising with Dr. Z, Dr. Christina Zampitella continues her conversation with Chris Warren, exploring the ongoing impact of losing student athletes to suicide.
This part of the conversation focuses on what happens after the initial loss and how grief is processed in groups, the role of community in healing, and the lasting effects of navigating tragedy both within and outside of that support system.
Chris shares his experience of losing a second student athlete while being physically removed from his team, highlighting the isolation, guilt, and coping challenges that followed. Together, they discuss the importance of connection, the impact of stigma, and why avoiding conversations about suicide can make healing more difficult.
This episode also explores:
The role of group support in traumatic grief
The impact of stigma and silence around suicide
The difference between grieving with support vs. alone
And the importance of self-care for those in helping roles
 
 
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If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, you are not alone. Support is available. You can call or text 988 in the United States to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or visit 988lifeline.org for chat support. If you are outside the U.S., please reach out to local emergency services or a trusted support resource in your area.
 
Timestamps
00:00 – Introduction 00:45 – Group Grief and Shared Experience 02:00 – The Power of “Me Too” in Healing 03:15 – Team Dynamics and Collective Grief 04:30 – How Students Supported Each Other 05:30 – School Response and Gaps in Support 06:45 – Memorialization and Controversy 08:00 – Stigma and Fear Around Suicide 09:15 – Changes After a Second Loss 10:30 – Losing a Second Student Athlete 11:45 – Grieving Without a Support System 13:00 – Isolation and Distance from the Team 13:45 – Coping Alone and Turning to Numbing 15:00 – The Importance of Community in Grief 16:15 – Guilt and Feeling Like You Left 17:30 – Helping Others While Running on Empty 18:30 – The Challenge of Self-Care in Caretaking Roles 19:45 – When Self-Care Feels Selfish 20:45 – Reconnecting with Personal Identity 22:00 – Finding Regulation and Stability 23:15 – Why Group Support Matters 24:30 – The Impact of Stigma on Healing 25:30 – Why We Avoid Talking About Suicide 26:30 – The Importance of Open Conversations 27:30 – Suicide Prevention and Awareness 28:30 – Final Reflections on Grief and Healing